Hold On
by ViciousAndDelicious32
Summary: What if Sousuke hadn't come back to Kaname? What happens when the years pass and a stranger shows up on her doorstep?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMP or the characters.**

 **AN: This story is to take place after Sousuke is dismissed from being Kaname's "insurance". If enough people like this, I may continue it as a story! Depends on y'all, though! Please read and review!**

The sunlight flickered through the curtains draped in front of the open window, causing the sleeping figure to groan and stir. The girl's eyes were red and puffy, and she was lost. She didn't understand why she felt like this. It had been years since her high school days – years since she had last seen him. Since he had been taken from her.

Sousuke hadn't even come to say goodbye. He just left her, in the middle of the night, with no reason why. Besides **duty** , of course. She had forgotten she was just his obligation. It was easy to do so, especially when he looked at her. Sometimes, he'd look at her like she was his world, his light in the dark, his happiness that could be found in even the saddest of places. So obviously, she would've thought he cared. That he loved her, almost as much as she loved him. However, when she strode to his apartment on that fateful morning, she found out how wrong she actually was.

They were late for class, and had a Japanese History test that day. Honestly, he could be **such** a knucklehead. If she hadn't miraculously woken up, she would've missed school entirely, and it was all his fault. He had ONE job, and he couldn't even do it right. She was waiting at the place they usually met at so they could walk to school together, impatiently stamping her foot. Sighing, she checked her watch. Ten minutes late?! Something must be up. Sousuke always prided himself on being practical and punctual. So, she had angrily stomped to his apartment, thinking to knock some sense into that military nut's brain.

The sinking feeling in Kaname's gut told her that even before she had opened the door. Not a thing was out of place. Bare walls, washed windows, clean floor. Except for Sousuke. That **idiot** had up and left her alone. She dropped her school bag and slowly walked into the apartment, eyes wide with confusion, soon replaced with hurt. He was gone. And he didn't come back.

For months, she waited for him, checking his old apartment, desperately hoping that one day he would walk into the classroom at school. But he didn't. Months turned into years, and then finally, graduation. Kaname had grown up, and in doing so, had left her childish dreams behind, including Sousuke. She told herself, time and time again, that she didn't love him. That she was over him. Alas, her heart didn't listen. Sure, she'd dated other guys and had other relationships, yet she couldn't get him out of her head. He was like a reoccurring dream she wanted to leave behind, but couldn't bring herself to let go. Then, it happened.

She was twenty-two, sitting on the couch in her living room, watching TV and trying to decide what to do with her life when the doorbell rang. She got up, curious, seeing as she hadn't expected visitors. Unlocking the door, she threw it open to reveal none other than Sousuke. Gasping in shock, Kaname threw her hand up to her mouth. They stood there like that for a minute, tears in Kaname's eyes, Sousuke's staring straight ahead. He stood at attention, as if this were a debriefing, as if he hadn't walked out on her years ago. She narrowed her eyes at him, overcome with a surge of anger. He had to have known the affect his leaving had on her. She opened her mouth, ready to venomously spit a biting remark at him, ready to tell him just how much he had hurt her by leaving that day, and that he couldn't just do this. He could not leave and then come back into her life as if nothing had changed. However, he beat her to it, speaking before the words ever left her mouth.

"I'm getting married," he said, finally gathering the courage to look at her.

The color drained out of Kaname's face, her anger dissipating at those words. Her grip on the door tightened, and she swallowed difficultly before speaking.

"T-to whom?"

"Tessa."

"You mean Captain Testarossa?"

"Affirmative. We've been dating for two years now."

Kaname's legs went weak, and she had to lean against the doorframe for support. The times that she actually allowed herself to think of a reunion with her lost love, it did **not** end up like this.

"W-why are you telling me this?" Kaname asked shakily, then slowly replacing that shakiness with newfound strength and anger, "In fact, why are you even here? You left me. YOU LEFT ME, YOU JERK! You were supposed to be there for me, and you left me alone."

"Kaname, I had to. I was called back from my mission, and I had an obliga-"

"An obligation, huh? That's all it ever was with you, wasn't it? All you ever cared about was your duty. You **never** cared about me, did you?" she asked, her voice menacing.

"Kaname, I-"

"Save it. I loved you, you know that? I freaking loved you. I cried and cried when you disappeared. I spent every single goddamn day waiting for you to just show up. And guess what? You didn't! I expected more of you - that was obviously a mistake. And now you come back to tell me you're getting **married**? Life doesn't work like that. **I** don't work like that. So Leave. NOW."

Sousuke stared at her in complete shock, but before he could say anything, he was shoved back, and the door was slammed in his face. He shook his head, spared one last glance at the apartment, and then walked away.

Inside, Kaname leaned back against the door, tears flowing freely. She slowly slid down until she reached the floor, where she then put her head in her hands and sobbed.

She didn't remember making the trek to her bed, nor did she remember falling asleep, but here she was, waking up to the soft sunlight and chirping birds. She ran a hand through her tangled, messy hair, sighing, remembering last night. She knew why she felt lost, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. She still loved Sousuke, and he had finally come back to her – just to tell her he loved someone else. Kaname closed her eyes, finding stability in the sounds of the city outside. For now, that was what she would have to hold onto.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMP or the characters.**

 **AN: I've finally decided to continue this story. Please R &R! Oh, and anything in italic is the character's thoughts. Hope you guys like it! ****J**

"What exactly are we doing here?" Kaname asked, glaring at her best friend as they walked through the park, surrounded by the beautiful blooming cherry blossoms. It had been a few days since the incident, and she hadn't heard from nor seen Sousuke since. Kyoko had noticed Kaname's ever-worsening attitude, and after hearing what it was about, she decided that it was time to do something about it.

"Why, because it makes for good picture-taking, silly! You know I need new pictures for the magazine spread," Kyoko replied breezily. After graduating, she had enrolled in the local University alongside her friend, and had undergone an internship at a popular media company. She was now an Assistant Editor in their journaling department. Therefore, why shouldn't she kill two birds with one stone and get the needed pictures for her job all while making Kaname happy?

"Yeah, but why do I have to come along? You could've just done your own job by yourself. I have important things I have to worry about, too!"

"Like Sousuke?"

"W-w-what n-no why would I ever care about what that idiot does? He can marry whoever he wants! It's not like he needs my permission or anything. Why would anything like that matter to me? HAHAHAHA," Kaname chortled, trying yet failing at hiding her feelings on the subject.

"Kaname? Are you sure?" Kyoko asked, seeing through her friend's obvious façade.

"Of course I'm sure! Geez, lay-off already," she said, turning away to admire the cherry blossoms. Truth was, she did care. All too much. _Especially since Sousuke just turns up out of the blue to tell me that, then doesn't contact me again. Like, who does that?_ Kaname sighed, and brushed her teal hair out of her face. The park around her was filled with blissful couples, enjoying the scenery. It reminded her too much of all she could have, and all that she didn't.

"Earth to Kaname!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry…"

"What has gotten into you? Anyway, I was asking if you wanted to go get something to eat. That new café down the street looks good!" The excitement was plain on Kyoko's face, but Kaname really wasn't feeling up to it today.

"I'd love to, but not today. Maybe some other time?" The smaller girl shook the disappointment from her face, and then smiled brightly at her friend.

"Sounds great! Text me when you want to meet up. And Kaname?"

"Yeah?"

"It'll get better. I have a feeling that things will start to change pretty soon. See ya!" With those parting words, Kyoko waltzed off, leaving Kaname to contemplate her friend's parting words. _Different how? Honestly, I'm not sure if I really want to know. This whole situation is just a bunch of drama that I could definitely do without._ The buzzing of her phone broke her out of her thoughts, and she sighed dramatically, assuming it was Kyoko.

 _I_ _ **just**_ _saw her. What does she want now?_ The brown-eyed girl asked herself as she stealthily slid her phone out of her pocket and read the message on the screen.

 **Meet on the roof of your apartment building at 1900 hours.**

Kaname stared quizzically at the text, acknowledging the unknown number it came from. _Kyoko might've been right…_ Kaname thought as she slowly trudged back to her apartment, anxious for the mysterious meeting awaiting her. Joy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to FMP, except for any original ideas in this story.**

 **AN: I've been dying to write another chapter, so – here it is! It's short, but I hope y'all like it. Please excuse if any of the characters are OOC! :)**

Kaname huffed, hands on her hips, her foot stamping impatiently as she waited for this anonymous person to arrive and explain what the heck was going on. She was standing close to the edge of the building – just enough to be able to look out into the city surrounding her. Annoyances aside, it was a magnificent sight. Sighing again, she ran her hands through her long, teal hair, shining in the fading sunlight. However, her motions came to a stop when she heard it. She knew that noise. She had spent half of her high school years listening to it. It was a helicopter, its blades cutting through the air. And from the sound of it, it was coming directly to her location.

Within minutes, the machine had lowered itself until it hovered a few feet from the rooftop. A ladder was dropped, and static could be heard on the intercom as it came into use.

"Kaname! It's been a while! I'd love to sit around and chat, but right now you need to climb on in."

"What?!" Kaname shouted, incredulous. She recognized Weber's voice, but had no idea why he was there, nor why he was demanding she climb into the helicopter.

"Look, Angel, we don't have all day here! I have orders to retrieve you and report back to the Tuatha de Danann. Clock's ticking, sweetheart," Kurz called, his voice distorted from the static.

She looked at the chopper, then glanced behind her, realizing she had a choice. _I could go back… But is that what I really want to do?_ Making her decision, Kaname walked over to the ladder before her, shimmied up the ropes, and then ducked into the aircraft. The door was then slid closed by the blonde-haired womanizer, and the helicopter lifted off.

"Why do they want me back at the ship?" Kaname yelled over the roaring sound of the rudders, hoping Kurz could hear her.

The said man shrugged his shoulders, then smiled a knowing smile, "I'm not entirely sure, but I think it has something to do with 'girl-talk'."

"Girl-talk?"

"You mean you haven't heard? Our little princess is getting married!"

"…Yeah, I heard," the brown eyed girl replied reluctantly, her face falling for a fraction of a second before she shook her head and replaced her obvious distress with a glare, "but what does that have to do with **me**?"

"Well, every bride needs a little help, don't they?" Kurz smiled, knowing the pain Kaname must have been going through. _I hope this wasn't a mistake…_

With that, the landing pad on top of the ship could be seen, and Kaname steeled herself for what was yet to come. _Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: You know the drill – I sadly do not own FMP.**

 **AN: This is going to be a longer chapter – hope you enjoy! Please read and review – you guys don't know how much it inspires me to continue with this story.**

Her heals clicked as she walked down the corridor, silver hair tied up, Captain's uniform perfectly crisp. A bright smile could be seen on her face, which gradually got bigger with each glance she stole at the ring on her left hand. Kaname steeled herself at Tessa's approach, unsure how to act toward her. Jealousy licked at the pit of Kaname's stomach as she gazed at the blushing bride-to-be, but she tried to push it away – Tessa was still her friend, and she would try her best to be happy for her.

"Kaname! I've missed you so much," the young woman exclaimed as she rushed over to greet her guest with a warm embrace, "How are you doing?"

"Fine! I mean, uh, I'm doing okay," Kaname said hurriedly, giving the girl a lopsided smile. "How about you?"

"Great!" she chirped and expertly held out her hand so Kaname could view the glittering jewel resting on it. "I couldn't believe it when Sousuke proposed. I mean, you know how he is. So it really was a complete shock when he did."

"C'mon now, Captain – weren't you the one who claimed she saw a proposal coming for the last six months?" Kurz sauntered up behind the girls, giving them a flash of his heart-stopping pearly whites.

Tessa rolled her eyes, "Well, **sergeant** , while your Captain has an amazing intuition, even she is not right all of the time."

Kaname smiled slightly to herself, for she had almost forgotten how strong-willed Tessa could be. Kurz glanced in her direction and saw her small smile. He nodded to himself as he decided that while Kaname was aboard the ship, he was going to ensure her happiness. _Everyone's gushing over Tessa, which she deserves, being the bride and all, but I have a feeling Kaname will be left in the background._ With that thought in mind, Kurz walked over to Kaname and linked her arm with his, chuckling at how she jumped in surprise.

"C'mon ladies – this man is hungry, and he needs you pretty women to escort him to the cafeteria!

* * *

Kaname walked into the cafeteria, still linked arm-in-arm with Kurz, and was immediately bombarded with hundreds of gazes in her direction. She soon realized that they weren't all looking at her, the newcomer, but at the sudden appearance of Captain Testarossa. Glancing to her right at Tessa, she saw some apprehension in her friend's face, but it was pushed away by pure happiness as her searching gaze found the object it was looking for. Propelling herself forward and tripping over her own feet, Tessa thrust herself into the man's arms. He caught her awkwardly, yet he soon picked her up and spun her about, smiling at her giddy laughter. He brought her face close to his and snuck a quick kiss before setting her down and resting his arm at her waist.

 _Oh Sousuke…_ Kaname averted her gaze from the happy couple, instead pretending to be interested in what meal options the cafeteria had for the day. _Green beans – my favorite!_

"Kaname?" Tessa's voice broke through her reverie, and Kaname turned to see her friend's eyes dart quickly over her face.

"Huh? What?" Kaname asked, then silently berated herself for not paying attention. She could feel him staring at her, but she refused to look in his direction. She should've known he would be here, but that thought hadn't crossed her mind when she had riskily hopped into the helicopter. _This is just great!_

"Hello, Kaname," Sousuke greeted her with a stoic expression on his face.

"Hello," Kaname replied coldly, snapping her mouth shut before she could say something she regretted later. Kaname hadn't noticed that Sousuke was imperceptibly glaring at her and Kurz's linked arms, but Kurz did. Smiling, her stepped forward, making a show of the physical closeness he and Kaname had, while also trying to interrupt before the hot-headed girl went on a rampage.

"Hey there, Sousuke! Haven't seen you in a while, huh? I still can't believe you're giving up the bachelor life – what man could tie himself down to just one chick?"

A sharp **whack!** sounded as a thick rolled magazine came down onto Kurz's head. Yelping, he quickly clutched at his now throbbing golden crown, rubbing it gently. He turned to glare at his attacker, but before he could say anything, she opened her mouth.

"Unlike you, playboy, Sousuke is a respectable man. Therefore, he found a woman he loves to be around, not just bang, and decided to marry her!" Mao scolded, staring down and intimidating her subordinate. Tessa pinked at her remark, but made no move to reject her comment, which subtly irked Kaname. However, she couldn't help but to start laughing at the display in front of her, which inevitable made Tessa and the others start to chuckle, too.

Neither Mao nor Kurz missed the way Sousuke brightened at the sound of Kaname's rough laughter, nor did they miss the warm look in his eye as he gazed at her. The glanced at each other stealthily, and nodded as they confirmed their mutual thoughts. _This was going to be one crazy reunion._

* * *

Sighing heavily, Kaname plunked down on her bunk in her cabin, reliving the day's events. She hugged herself tightly at the thought of Sousuke's smile, and how it wasn't directed toward her, but to his beautiful fiancée. _He looked so happy with her. He looked like he was calm, and at peace, but most importantly, he looked like he was in love. What am I even doing here? I don't belong. My presence will just needlessly complicate things…_

The teal-haired girl groaned and rolled over on her side, hugging the fresh pillow to her chest, staring at the cold iron wall. Just as she was about to drift off, her phone chimed. _What now? I need my beauty sleep here, people!_ She lazily picked it up and saw two new messages for her. One was from Kyoko, asking where she had vanished to. Cringing at the accusatory tone of the text, Kaname typed a quick reply summarizing her current situation and hit send. With that taken care of, she looked at the second message from…. Tessa?

Furrowing her brow in confusion, Kaname opened the message. _We were literally just together. Like ten minutes ago._

 **Hey, Kaname, come by my room tomorrow afternoon, okay? I need to pick between wedding dresses, and Mao isn't helping. Plus, I trust your fashion sense more than hers!**

Smirking at the text, she typed a response and hit send.

 **Of course! I must admit, my fashion sense is spot on, so I could definitely help you choose a dress.**

A chime went off, and Kaname brought her phone back up to her face to see the reply.

 **Thanks! I still can't believe I'm getting married to the man of my dreams. I know you used to have a crush on my Sousuke, so I appreciate you coming here and supporting us. It really shows you care :)**

Her breath hitched as she read the text, her eyes coming back to Tessa's straightforward claim on Sousuke. _What am I thinking? He_ _ **is**_ _her fiancée, after all._ She sighed, still unable to get the knot in her belly to dissipate. Without a second thought, the abruptly turned her phone off and snuggled under the thin blanket on her bunk. She closed her eyes and attempted to push all thoughts of Sousuke and soon-to-be Tessa Sagara out of her mind, yet she always seemed to be brought back to them. Sighing again, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

 _This is going to be a long night._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMP. Sad, right?**

 **AN: Here's another chapter! This story won't leave me alone – it's practically begging me to continue writing it. This is more of a filler chapter, but I still hope you like it!**

Rubbing at her eyes groggily, Kaname swung her legs over the side of the bunk, absolutely exhausted. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and what sleep she had received wasn't as refreshing as she had hoped. After yawning and stretching, she turned to give her phone an accusatory look, for the demonic object had been the one to wake her. Flipping it over, she saw that she had a missed call and a text from Tessa. _That damn Captain – why does she have to be such an early bird?_ However, Kaname couldn't wipe the smile that appeared on her face as she read her friend's energetic text.

 **Hiya! I'm so excited for today – I've been dying for some girl-time! Meet me in the Captain's Quarters around 1000 hours.**

As Kaname set her phone down again, still shocked at the fact she could receive service on a submarine, a loud growl filled the small cabin. She jumped, then put her hand on her stomach, finally realizing how hungry she actually was. After hurriedly getting dressed, the young woman set off for a decent breakfast in the cafeteria before heading off to give a blushing bride her best fashion advice. Even though it hurt Kaname to see Sousuke and Tessa together, she had to be strong and support them. She did still care greatly for the both of them, after all. No amount of time apart could change that.

 _I just have to put up with the ogling lovebirds until the wedding_ , Kaname thought as she remembered what the Captain had told her last night.

* * *

"So, Tessa, how long do you want me to stay here?" Kaname asked as she, Tessa, and Mao walked down the corridor toward Kaname's cabin.

"Well… I was hoping you would stay for the wedding."

"WHAT?" Kaname turned to look at the Captain in shock, assuming it would be for months.

"No, no, it's not as long as you're probably thinking. We're getting married in two weeks. That's why I had Kurz come get you," Tessa explained, twirling her braid around with her fingers.

Mao grunted and glared at the young Captain, "I still don't know why you sent that bastard out to do something that I could've easily handled."

"Melissa, you know I trust you, and I know you've missed Kaname, too, but I really needed you here. Think of it as moral support," Tessa told the black-haired woman, her eyes softening slightly.

"Tch," Mao muttered before dropping the subject. Kaname could clearly see that this had been discussed in detail before, and it made her feel good to know that she had so many people who cared about her. Especially after what that jerk did…

"Kaname?" Tessa asked, and the girl in question started, glancing at her companions to see similar looks of concern on their faces.

"Uh, yeah? Sorry, I just kinda spaced out," Kaname explained sheepishly, "Anyway, what were you saying, **Miss Captain**?"

Tessa rolled her eyes at the taunt, then turned a hopeful smile toward her friend, "So you'll stay, right?"

Kaname looked at her, and knew that in that moment, she couldn't refuse. Before she knew what she was saying, she had agreed.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to miss your wedding! But you could've at least told me to pack beforehand. I didn't bring anything with me, thank you very much!"

Tessa's face lit up, and she chattered on about how Kaname could borrow clothes and such, and before she knew it, the subject had changed to some scandalous meeting between crewmen that had happened the night before. Standing there, in that moment, Kaname knew that she would end up hurt by the end of this, but she just couldn't bring herself to say no.

* * *

Snapping out of her muddled thoughts, Kaname looked up to realize she was standing outside of the cafeteria doors. Taking a deep breath, she hoped beyond hope that Sousuke wasn't around, and pushed the swinging door open. Without sparing a glance at who was sitting at the metallic tables littering the room, she strode to the line and picked up a muffin. As she turned around and began to slowly walk toward the tables, she heard someone call out.

"Kaname! We're over here, Angel!" Kurz hollered, capturing the beautiful woman's attention. She began to slowly make her way over, hesitant due to the fact that Sousuke was sitting beside him.

Sighing contentedly, Kurz allowed a quick once-over of the chocolate-eyed wonder, before muttering, "Man, I'd tap that," under his breath. This comment earned him a glare from Sousuke and a smack on the head from Mao, which resulted in a quick scuffle. A laugh could be heard from behind them as Tessa walked up, wrapping her arms around Sousuke from behind.

"Wow, you too are really riled up, already, huh?" Tessa observed, smiling. Kaname rolled her eyes and took the empty spot next to Mao, refusing to look in Sousuke's direction.

"Honestly, it's too early for this. You idiots are giving me a headache!" Kaname sighed as she rubbed her forehead.

Mao, offended, turned her glare on Kaname, while Kurz just sat back and chuckled, "Seems like our Angel's the same as always."

Kaname just unwrapped her muffin and took a huge chunk out of it, chewing slowly. She glanced up, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sousuke staring at her. _Crap! This is awkward… The last time I had a real conversation around him, I told him I loved him. What do I do? Just ignore him? Humph, less than he deserves, that je-_

"Kaname, meet me when you're done, okay?" Tessa said, breaking Kaname out of her thoughts. She glanced up right as Tessa leaned in and gave her sergeant a kiss on the cheek, noting the small smile on Sousuke's face. Tessa's attention then turned back to her, and Kaname smiled and nodded at her around her muffin. But no matter how happy she pretended to be, Kurz and Mao could both see she was heartbroken.

 _I can't stay here, I can't watch her hang all over him, I can't. I just can't._ Kaname suddenly stood up, surprising everyone at the table, said she was going to use the restroom, and then fled the cafeteria. Sousuke stared after her, worry in his eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he stood up and strode after her, leaving his fiancée and friends behind in shock.

* * *

"Kaname!" Sousuke called after her as he marched down the hallway. Stiffening slightly, she stopped and turned around to face him. He came to a halt a few feet in front of her, gaping at her. He didn't know what had come over him, but he couldn't stand the hurt look on her face. Lately, he was having flashbacks of that night, and how she had screamed and yelled at him for leaving. She looked much the same now, just calmer.

"What do you want, Sousuke?" Kaname asked harshly, her head down as she tried to hide her tears from view.

"I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You ran out of there, so I was worried about your health…"

She suddenly raised her head, and looked fiercely at him through blurry eyes. Sousuke was shocked to see the tears, and was momentarily silenced. Anger came off of her in waves, but along with it came sadness and grief.

"My health is none of your concern. You are no longer my body guard, nor are you my insurance. I am not an obligation, much less one of yours. Now, if you would excuse me, I have places to be," with that, Kaname turned around sharply and continued down the hallway, away from Sousuke and the things he made her feel.

As he watched her walk away, Sousuke couldn't help but to feel as if he had just lost something precious. As she rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, he felt a tugging sensation in his gut, as if it were telling him to go after her. And he almost did, until he thought of Tessa. Of the way her hair glinted in the sunlight, of the way she smiled at him brightly, even when he made a mess of social situations. She loved him through his many mistakes, and he knew that if he went after Kaname now, Tessa would ultimately be hurt. He couldn't do that to her. However, it did not stop the tugging sensation – in fact, the feeling only softened into a subtle pull as he walked in the opposite direction.

 _What am I supposed to do?_


	6. UPDATE

Hey guys - I just wanted to post something to remind tell you that I'm not gone. I'm sorry I haven't uploaded since like July - I've had a lot going on, and sadly, writing has had to be postponed. But I'm here to remind you that I'm not done with this story.

I WILL FINISH THIS EVENTUALLY, SO PLEASE HANG IN THERE WITH ME.

I promise there will be an actual chapter update in the next few weeks at most. Thank you for reading this and my story!


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